Destination P3X 042
by gatehead81
Summary: The guys gate to a far off planet but a frustrated Jack can't figure out what's got the other three so excited. Join him as he tries to figure it out. K rated one-shot fluff fic. Just for the sake of poking fun.


**AN: Just a little bit of fun at Jack's expense. As always, unedited at this stage :)**

**Summary: The guys gate to a far off planet but a frustrated Jack can't figure out what's got the other three so excited. Join him as he tries to figure it out. K rated one-shot fluff fic. Just for the sake of poking fun.**

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><p>DESTINATION P3X-042<p>

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><p>The gate snapped shut leaving four individuals with khaki uniforms, khaki rucksacks and khaki ponchos standing in the torrential rain that was, to at least one of their minds, 'Kak'.<p>

Each of them looked around, assessing the same terrain with a different eye and for a different reason. Tactical advantage, scientific curiosity, anthropological insight and first contact enemy sweep.

For a moment no-one spoke, but naturally that couldn't last.

"So this is it, huh?" an already soggy Daniel asked.

"This is it." agreed Sam with a nodding head and slightly pouting lips. "P3X-0..._42!_" she added sounding awed.

Jack turned his head and observed first one and then the other of his team mates. They were both looking around expectantly as if something was about to happen. "What is 'it'?" Jack asked as he too looked about more closely.

"This is the last." the Jaffa told him with the absolute austerity of one who could be standing at a funeral.

"The last what?" Jack frowned at his team's vagueness. He was definitely out of the loop on this one.

"The last stargate." Teal'c turned his eye on his friend and chose his moment carefully. When he was sure he had Jack's full attention regarded him like a child knowing it frustrate the man.

"Relatively speaking." Daniel added pushing his glasses up his nose. He realised he could see even less than before and took them off to wipe at the watery streaks.

"Yep." Carter nodded again, her hand riding out onto her hip. She kept her eyes turned away from her CO for fear she might give the game away.

"Yep what?" Jack asked getting more than a little annoyed.

When no-one answered him straight away he turned to fully face his 2IC. "Carter?"

Sam turned an innocent blue eye on him. They were wide and curious, excited even. Jack couldn't help but notice them sparkle as she spoke. "This is the farthest known stargate from planet Earth. It's the farthest any man, or woman..."

"And perhaps even Jaffa."

"Right Teal'c." She grinned widely. "And perhaps even Jaffa has ever travelled from our home planet...so far."

Jack blinked a bit. "Aannndddd?" Three days ago they had just virtually done the same thing in a different direction.

"Nope that's it." Daniel interjected saving Sam from saying anything more.

"Oh." Jack couldn't quite get that excited. Sure it was cool but the others were acting like it was the best thing that had ever happened to them. He pulled a slightly sour face and once again looked about him. The rain seemed to be getting heavier. He was just about to order them to move out when Daniel spoke up cutting off his words.

"The end of the line." he drawled.

"The last stop for Earth's humanity." mused Teal'c

"The furthest point from home." Sam sighed with wonder.

Daniel turned to face Sam completely. "It's the end of the universe you might say."

"Oh yeah so it is." Sam grinned widely, playing along.

Teal'c flicked an eye sideways and registered the look of utter confusion on O'Neill's face. Then he returned his attention to his younger friends.

"So which direction do you think it is in Sam?"

"Gee I don't know Daniel, Teal'c any ideas?" Carter squinted up at her Jaffa colleague.

The former First Prime pulled himself up and made a show of thinking. "Perhaps we should venture forth on route forty-two?"

"Ahhh." said Daniel.

"Of course." said Sam getting out her compass.

"Where what is?" Jack shook his head at his team. "Route forty-two? What are you guys talking about?" He hated it when they did this.

Three heads turned and looked at him, all of there mouths slightly hanging open. Daniel was their voice. "The restaurant of course!"

"Restaurant?" Jack was sure that he had slipped into a parallel universe or something.

"Yes Colonel, the restaurant."

"At the end of the universe." Teal'c supplied.

Jack found none of their words in any way helpful. "Have you guys all gone nuts?" he asked, actually getting concerned now. Maybe the stargate had fried their brains or something. There was clearly no restaurant on this planet. It probably didn't have any kind of dwellings at all from the looks of the surrounding area.

"So if we set out on compass bearing forty-two." Sam mused aloud as they all ignored Jack's last question. "For forty-two minutes."

"And forty-two seconds."

"Yep, sure Daniel. We should end up just about...here." Sam pointed at a ridge on the map, showed it to her team and looked up, peering hard in the direction they would be travelling in.

"Gee I dunno Sam, up there? Do you really think that's where it would be?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm not sure Daniel, but you were the one who first said forty-two was the answer."

Daniel threw his hands up. "Well it wasn't me per say."

"Yeah, yeah I know but you think that's right though don't you?"

"Well yes. Don't you?"

"Without a doubt."

"I too concur."

Daniel Jackson swung his head spraying water everywhere. "Well that's that settled then. Let's go."

"Hold on, hold on, wait just a god damn minute." Jack flung himself in front of his team his arms fully outstretched preventing them from going anywhere. "Just what the hell are you all babbling about? Tell me now or we are going straight home and Frasier is going to stick needles in all of your butts." O'Neill was really not enjoying this.

Sam shook her head in genuine disbelief. "The restaurant?" she voiced. Jack mimicked her look adding a flare of impatient annoyance for good measure. "At the end of the universe?" She blinked at him, waiting for him to catch on.

"The number forty-two?" Daniel prompted.

"It is the answer." stated Teal'c.

Slowly Jack narrowed his eyes and rocked back onto his heels, one hand resettling his MP-45 against his soaking wet poncho. "Wait a minute." he said as his mind connected all the pieces together. He pointed at each of them in turn. "This is some TV thing isn't it? Some crazy sci-fi thing?"

Carter ducked her head. "Yes Sir, it is." she confessed. She was no longer able to keep up the charade now that he was onto them.

"Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Daniel revealed somewhat triumphantly. "By Douglas Adams?" he added as Jack remained completely silent.

Jack O'Neill sighed mightily and stared up into the driving rain. "Never heard of him."

"Really?" Sam just couldn't believe that.

"Nope, never have." Then Jack eyed his 2IC sharply. "So you mean to tell me this whole time we have been standing here, with the rain pouring down the back of our necks, you guys have been yapping on about some stupid science fiction show?"

"It is not stupid." Daniel automatically defended.

"Indeed it is not." Teal'c thoroughly agreed.

"Fine, whatever." Jack didn't particularly care but seriously, why did they have to pick now to do this? "Could you not have waited for a drier planet to wind me up on?"

"Of course not." Carter gestured at the overly green surroundings. "This is the actual end of the universe, Sir. The stargate one at least."

"That we know of." Daniel once again reminded them all in his most insightful tone of voice. "There are many more possibilities out there yet that we have to discover. Who truly knows where the end of anything is?" His moment of profound philosophy was completely sullied by the massive drip that fell from the end of his nose.

"Yeah and one of those possible ends is that I should kick your butts, now move out." Jack pointed at the mountain that lay ahead at forty-two degrees.

Sam's face was the first to fall. "Up there?"

"Yes Captain, up there."

"But Sir, I was only..."

"You picked the destination Carter, now you are going to lead us there. So go, take point." Jack ordered. Sure he knew it was pointless to trek them all up the steep hillside but that would teach them not to mock him just because they were all a bunch of sci-fi geeks. "And just be thankful it's forty-two minutes walking and not forty-two miles I have you going. Restaurant at the end of the universe!" Jack groused. "Whatever's next? Talking dolphins and fish I suppose." he muttered as he shook his head and tried to shelter his neck from the never ending rain.

END

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><p><strong>AN: Hope you enjoyed that little aside. I know I enjoyed writing it :)<strong>


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